Acupuncturists………. …
Acupuncturists………. They really get on my nerves.
Continue ReadingI went to one of those vi …
I went to one of those violent bull fights in Spain, and I can honestly say I’ve never been so appalled in my life. My seat cost a fortune and was so far back I could barely see the cows get stabbed.
Continue ReadingI’ve been writing a book …
I’ve been writing a book on desks.
Continue ReadingI’ve been dating a statue …
I’ve been dating a statue sculpter for the past 6 months. Great girl, but she puts me on a pedestal.
Continue ReadingI just tried to find the …
I just tried to find the Nihilism website, but all that came up was “Page does not exist”
Continue ReadingBecoming a social worker …
Becoming a social worker is a truly beautiful and fulfilling job. I no longer need an excuse to take people’s kids away.
Continue ReadingI’ve just hit my wife wit …
I’ve just hit my wife with a scaffold bar. That will teach her for laughing at my erection.
Continue ReadingI had my 10th anniversary …
I had my 10th anniversary at work today, I breed horses. It’s a very stable job.
Continue ReadingRunning my own lighting s …
Running my own lighting shop is quite difficult at times. There are a lot of overheads.
Continue ReadingThey say in life, you get …
They say in life, you get what you give. Then how come when I gave her my best smile and a wink, all I got was a restraining order and told that I shouldn’t be hanging around the primary school playground?
Continue Reading“If you can’t handle me a …
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best!” – the weather
Continue ReadingI’ve been into a Poundstr …
I’ve been into a Poundstretcher this morning. Now I’ve got a pocket full of ovals.
Continue ReadingMy daughter’s really upse …
My daughter’s really upset today – a boy touched her up at the under 14’s disco last night. I was fuming! I would’ve punched his lights out if I hadn’t been chucked out first.
Continue ReadingI used to have a job maki …
I used to have a job making furniture out of plants. I’ll tell you, it was no bed of roses.
Continue ReadingA man goes into a library …
A man goes into a library and asks if they have any books on pessimism. The librarian says; “I doubt it.”
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