Everybody thinks I’m a fa …
Everybody thinks I’m a fatalist. Well they would, wouldn’t they?
Continue ReadingI read an article about u …
I read an article about using your brain. It got me thinking.
Continue Reading“Waiter! Why are there th …
“Waiter! Why are there three flies swimming in my soup?” “Sorry, sir, I don’t know much about sport. Maybe it’s some kind of medley relay?”
Continue ReadingWhat happened when Paul a …
What happened when Paul and Barry’s cheap condoms split? They both had a little chuckle.
Continue ReadingWhat’s a pig’s tail got i …
What’s a pig’s tail got in common with 4am? Twirly
Continue ReadingI asked my wife where was …
I asked my wife where was my dinner….. She went on a right one, screaming that if I gave her a hand it would be done quicker… so I gave her a hand……… a right one…….. I’m still waiting for my dinner and she seems to be having a kip on the kitchen floor. On […]
Continue ReadingLatin is a dead language …
Latin is a dead language and has no place in the English society per se.
Continue ReadingI plan on suing derren br …
I plan on suing derren brown in the new few days after his latest trick. My brother just can’t get out of his wheelchair.
Continue Readingi started my new job as a …
i started my new job as a lumberjack this morning. the boss must have took an immediate dislike towards me as id only been there two minutes before he gave me the axe.
Continue ReadingI am feeling politely con …
I am feeling politely confrontational today. Would anyone care for a piece of me?
Continue ReadingMy wife keeps irritating …
My wife keeps irritating me by moving all of my furniture around my office so I decided to return the favour by rotating all of the furniture in the kitchen and dining rooms, and she went ballistic, it seems she can’t handle it, now the tables have turned.
Continue ReadingI just had an email from …
I just had an email from a Chinaman asking if I want to buy a boat. It went straight into my junk folder.
Continue ReadingWhy should you avoid touc …
Why should you avoid touching liquid nitrogen? Scald.
Continue ReadingLiam Stacey must be feeli …
Liam Stacey must be feeling bad about his jail sentence for racist tweeting. Oh well, he’ll still be making bird noises and be called by his original surname in the prison showers.
Continue Reading‘Number Of Police ‘Will F …
‘Number Of Police ‘Will Fall By 10,000’ How can they be so sure what’s going to happen in eight thousand years time?
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