Aimed at overweight Ameri …
Aimed at overweight Americans, a re-make of the long running British television show has been commissioned for the BBC. “Gym’ll Fix It” starts next week.
Continue ReadingFrance declared war on al …
France declared war on al Qaida yesterday. Thank God, for someone needed to teach the terrorists how to surrender.
Continue ReadingI was at the sperm bank a …
I was at the sperm bank and the receptionist asked me what I thought of the place. “What can I say?” I replied. “I love coming here!”
Continue ReadingI’m having the best holid …
I’m having the best holiday ever in Ireland. I’m walking on Eire.
Continue ReadingI love my new job as a bi …
I love my new job as a bingo caller at the local homeless shelter. Whenever someone shouts, “House” I always reply, “No. You haven’t.”
Continue ReadingMy Girlfriend likes to pu …
My Girlfriend likes to put roses on our bed to make it romantic. I have to say, Its a real thorn in my side.
Continue ReadingI was so disappointed wit …
I was so disappointed with the kitchen themed gifts my wife gave me last year. She brought me a set of cutlery, biscuit cutters and to put the icing on the cake… A piping bag.
Continue ReadingMe and My Girlfriend have …
Me and My Girlfriend have decided that we don’t want to have children. If anyone does, we can drop them off tomorrow….
Continue ReadingMy wife is complaining ab …
My wife is complaining about the pain after having her appendix removed. Don’t know what the problem is, she should be used to it…I take a large organ out of her every night.
Continue ReadingA man who was riding his …
A man who was riding his bike, with no hands on a busy road seemed to have no fear Of looking like a complete bell-end.
Continue ReadingMy mates warned me agains …
My mates warned me against going home with an Afro-Carribbean hairdresser last night. Woke up this morning and I’ve got braids.
Continue ReadingSo I clicked onto Sickipe …
So I clicked onto Sickipedia just now, and saw “Database Latency To High”. Naturally, I was straight on the BBC website to check if Elton John had died… You still have time to upgrade the servers Sickipedia.
Continue ReadingMy son’s birthday was a b …
My son’s birthday was a bit depressing. You’re supposed to fill the balloons with lithium, right?
Continue ReadingI hate it when I open my …
I hate it when I open my bag of air and there’s crisps in it.
Continue ReadingI got sacked from my job …
I got sacked from my job at a clothes alteration shop yesterday. It’s my own fault really , some days I couldn’t even be bothered to turn up.
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