QJOQ

The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power. I think they should stop over-reacting.

I went to an Italian restaurant, and they had spaghetti on the menu. So I had to call the waiter to wipe it off.

I like my girlfriends how I like Real Madrid against F.C. Barcelona. Five, Down.

I took my missus out for dinner the other night but all she wanted to do was play footsie under the table. Eventually, I managed to order a steak. She ended up getting toed in the hole.

I don’t like roller-coasters. I’d rather my coffee was sat still on the table.

I used to do illegal carpentry, until I was arrested by the vice squad.

I don’t know why I bother listening to all these pirate radio stations. I can’t understand a word of Somali.

My father and I strongly believe the world would be better off without clichs. Like father, like son.