Q. What do my wife’s thig …
Q. What do my wife’s thighs and a lamp shop have in common? A. Sell you light.
Continue ReadingAfter sharing a mixed gri …
After sharing a mixed grill at a racecourse with my wife. We thought we’d go and place a few bets. When our stakes came up on the first race. We decided, we won’t be eating here again.
Continue ReadingI like to think of the i …
I like to think of the internet as my own personal playground. In that most things I do in playgrounds are sick, illegal, and involve masturbation.
Continue ReadingI had some ice cream the …
I had some ice cream the other day that was as hard as a brick. Turns out it was Walls…
Continue ReadingYou’ll be hard pressed ge …
You’ll be hard pressed getting me to watch The Iron Lady.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between a baby and fruit? I don’t eat fruit.
Continue ReadingI just tried to log on to …
I just tried to log on to the the Ethiopian version of Facebook. It said, “Sorry, no feed available.”
Continue ReadingMy dad wouldn’t hurt a fl …
My dad wouldn’t hurt a fly. Which his why he lost his job at Rentokil.
Continue Reading3.1415926 is a nice round …
3.1415926 is a nice round number…
Continue ReadingI am sitting on a train. …
I am sitting on a train. I should probably climb inside and sit down before we reach a tunnel.
Continue ReadingI was going to watch that …
I was going to watch that film I Am Number Four. But I’ve decided to watch the other three first.
Continue ReadingTo be fair, 60p is not so …
To be fair, 60p is not so expensive when you stop and think about it. You can send a letter to anywhere in Britain and it will only take two or three days to arrive there. I mean, it’s not as if you can do that on your computer…..for free…..in seconds.
Continue Reading“Wow, this is the 5th tim …
“Wow, this is the 5th time I’ve spotted you around today!” “…” “Well, are you going to say something? I thought you were usually a bit more chatty…” “Not at all, I thought I told you I was stalkative.”
Continue ReadingTime flies like an arrow. …
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Continue ReadingI have been having real t …
I have been having real trouble with my spelling of leight.
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