I’m not surprised Oasis h …
I’m not surprised Oasis has broken up…..always prefered J2O
Continue ReadingGetting the Grim Reaper o …
Getting the Grim Reaper on your side. There’s an app for that.
Continue ReadingI was in the pub last nig …
I was in the pub last night. An arms dealer I know was sat at the bar, when, in walked a thalidomide. I thought, “Can’t wait for these two to get into a conversation.”
Continue ReadingDomestic violence. Puttin …
Domestic violence. Putting the ‘woman’ back into kitchen.
Continue ReadingWhy do banks only lend yo …
Why do banks only lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it?
Continue ReadingI work at the Lost Luggag …
I work at the Lost Luggage office at Manchester Airport. All my enquiries are dealt with on a case by case basis.
Continue ReadingPuns are the lowest form …
Puns are the lowest form of Hugh Moore. …whoever he is.
Continue Reading“They call it Le Big Mac. …
“They call it Le Big Mac.” And the Americans call it a Happy Meal.
Continue ReadingI never met a coprophage …
I never met a coprophage who wasn’t a bottom feeder.
Continue Reading“NO JOKE, YOU HAVE WON AN …
“NO JOKE, YOU HAVE WON AN IPHONE” Pretty ironic considering this is a joke site.
Continue Reading“From just 2 a month you …
“From just 2 a month you can help change someone’s life.” Well, it worked for Joe McElderry….
Continue ReadingWhat’s white and disrupts …
What’s white and disrupts your lunch? An avalanche.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a Librar …
A man walks into a Library and says: ‘Excuse me……’ To which the Librarian answers, ‘A book on mind reading and telling the future? I can recommend this one here.’
Continue ReadingI walked into the shop I …
I walked into the shop I asked, “Have you got a pint of milk please, love?” “In the carton?” She asked. I said, “No,no, just tip it in my hands.”
Continue ReadingI’d never hit a child wit …
I’d never hit a child with a keyboard. But I’d like to Ctrl and F1.
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