It was good advice when s …
It was good advice when someone told me I’d never meet the woman of my dreams at a bar. The women in my dreams aren’t old enough to get in.
Continue ReadingMy wife tells me that I s …
My wife tells me that I snore a lot. Stayed up the other night to see if I could hear myself… not a thing
Continue ReadingI walked into a bar that …
I walked into a bar that a was full of lonely fat chicks eating crisps. It must have been Pringles night.
Continue ReadingThank goodness for Oatso …
Thank goodness for Oatso Simple. Gone are the days of having to pour milk on my porridge and heat it up every morning. Now all I have to do is add milk to Oatso Simple and heat it up.
Continue ReadingMy wife left me because o …
My wife left me because of my obsession with morse code. Her name’s Dot and she made a dash for it.
Continue ReadingI’m thinking of hiring a …
I’m thinking of hiring a S.W.A.T team to fix my fly problem.
Continue ReadingThe day I won the lottery …
The day I won the lottery my girlfriend was made up. But now I’ve been out and bought one.
Continue ReadingI went to the bar yesterd …
I went to the bar yesterday and was drinking absinthe all night and started to get emotional about not seeing my parents for five years. Well you know what they say, Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
Continue ReadingI bought my wife a camel- …
I bought my wife a camel-skin jacket for her birthday as a surprise. She got the hump.
Continue ReadingIt’s the thought that cou …
It’s the thought that counts. Unless that thought came from a woman’s brain. Then it doesn’t.
Continue ReadingI think it is hugely unfa …
I think it is hugely unfair as to the amount of criticism that the tabloid press are giving Jordan. This Middle Eastern state has enough problems to deal with as it is.
Continue ReadingMe and the wife decided t …
Me and the wife decided to join forces earlier. She doesn’t like it, but I think Polambufire sounds good.
Continue ReadingMy mate just boasted abou …
My mate just boasted about buying miniture pack of cards for a tenner. It’s no big deal.
Continue ReadingI’m really out of shape E …
I’m really out of shape Everytime i fart i need a nap.
Continue ReadingEveryone else’s answer se …
Everyone else’s answer seemed to be ‘The most’. I was shocked to say the least.
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