I think I have a photogra …
I think I have a photographic memory… …All the people in my head have red eyes.
Continue ReadingI went to a Blunt People …
I went to a Blunt People Anonymous meeting last night. It was fine.
Continue ReadingI drew two pictures of a …
I drew two pictures of a naked lady. I rubbed one out.
Continue ReadingI am never using ebay aga …
I am never using ebay again! just received my ‘black and white’ printer, thieving seller never gave me any white ink!
Continue ReadingApparently putting ‘Fap F …
Apparently putting ‘Fap Fap Fap!!’ as a comment on friends pictures of their children ISN’T cool.
Continue ReadingI was having a heart to h …
I was having a heart to heart with my very successful, famous son earlier when he said: “It’s not easy being a household name you know.” “Nonsense” I said, “it’s never held you back has it Bathroom?”
Continue ReadingThey say ‘no news is good …
They say ‘no news is good news’. Well, last year, my brother went on a 2 week backpacking holiday in Zimbabwe and we haven’t heard from him since. He must be having fun.
Continue ReadingI was listening to the ra …
I was listening to the radio earlier and a song by Pete Doherty really inspired me. So I walked into my bedroom, picked up my guitar, and sold it so I could go out and buy some crack.
Continue ReadingWorld Of Warcraft: Helpin …
World Of Warcraft: Helping 16 year old boys keep theie virginity since 2004 sickipedia: helping 40 year olds keep their virginity since god knows when
Continue ReadingI used to hate eating my …
I used to hate eating my greens as a kid. For some reason they tasted worse than the other crayons.
Continue ReadingIrony: A postwoman wearin …
Irony: A postwoman wearing a Burqa
Continue ReadingA psychiatrist asked his …
A psychiatrist asked his patient “What is 7 x 5”. His patient answers “10,000”. “Interesting”, thought the shrink. He asked his next patient the same question. “The answer is Sunday”. “Interesting”, thought the shrink. He asked his next and final patient the same question. “The answer is 35”. “Perfect! How did you work that out!?” […]
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the gu …
Did you hear about the guy that trashed a Chinese restaurant? He’s being charged with Wonton Destruction.
Continue Reading“Hey Dad, what do spiders …
“Hey Dad, what do spiders eat?” “Not sure, go check the web”
Continue ReadingI’ve been up all night in …
I’ve been up all night interrogating an egg… I think he’s about to crack.
Continue Reading