I’m fascinated by social …
I’m fascinated by social epidemics….. ….though maybe, its just a fad.
Continue ReadingI swore I wouldn’t change …
I swore I wouldn’t change if I won the lottery. But I was wearing stockings, suspenders and a gimp mask when I found out, so I kind of had too.
Continue ReadingMy dad and I were talking …
My dad and I were talking yesterday about my future career. When he asked the question, “Do you know what made me want to become a doctor?” Apparently, “So you could touch little kids without getting arrested?” wasn’t the right answer.
Continue ReadingAll the landmarks and mil …
All the landmarks and millions of beautiful places on Google Earth, and the first thing everyone looks at is their own house.
Continue ReadingI got a lift to work this …
I got a lift to work this morning. Now people don’t have to use the stairs.
Continue ReadingI hate it when people ste …
I hate it when people steal quotes from movies. It makes me angry, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Continue ReadingI took up most of the rec …
I took up most of the reception in this really posh salon today with my 1/12th scale Sherman tank………. Well the sign in the window did say ‘Models required’
Continue ReadingIt was a risk hanging my …
It was a risk hanging my washing out to dry when the forecast was rain. I put it all on the line.
Continue ReadingMy wife kept threatening …
My wife kept threatening to leave me because she says she’s sick of my infatuation with Tommy Cooper. She just left me. Just like that.
Continue ReadingI was just taking a dip i …
I was just taking a dip in the swimming pool when the lifeguard asked, “What have you got there?” I replied, “Hummus.”
Continue ReadingMy Irish mate said, “C’mo …
My Irish mate said, “C’mon help me rob this bank. I’m all set to go now.” “You can’t be serious.” “I am. It’ll be hard for them to identify me with this ski mask on.” “Maybe, but those skis will make it easy to catch you.”
Continue ReadingI just raised my arm, But …
I just raised my arm, But the rest of the poker players wanted money.
Continue ReadingKFC are having a laugh! w …
KFC are having a laugh! when they say their Mega Bucket is the biggest you can buy! My wife’s is twice as big.. And its all you can eat for a fiver..
Continue ReadingI want to put up some kin …
I want to put up some kind of barrier between me and the neighbours, but don’t want to cause a fence.
Continue ReadingSo it’s perfectly accepta …
So it’s perfectly acceptable for me to come home to find my wife wandering around the house in a pair of my shorts and a t-shirt, but as soon as it’s the other way round, suddenly ”We need to talk”.
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