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I got a cold call today. I answered the phone and a voice said, “Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”

Went scuba diving the other day, I went deeper and deeper. Until I saw a most magnificent sight. A beautiful mermaid, probably the most gorgeous creature Id ever laid eyes on. I thought of asking her on a date but I took one look at my pressure gauge and realised. She was way out of […]

Bought a new driver from Ping. Little town outside Beijing. Great Chauffeur, too.

Gordon Brown has reshuffled his cabinet He moved the vodka to the front

Last night I finally met a girl who saw past the fact that I’m a cripple. I fell for her.

I told my girlfriend I’m leaving her because she is a peasant. It was a poor excuse.

I was drilling this girl the other night, Unfortunately, the hole in her head killed her.

As a plastic surgeon, I always apply collagen using a screwdriver. It’s a Phillips.

“I’ve got something I need to get off my chest, it’s been bugging me all day” I said to the wife. “What”? she said with a concerned look on her face. “Your bra, the wires have been digging in me all day”.