Apparently Jeeves doesn’t …
Apparently Jeeves doesn’t know the name of that movie starring that guy that I can’t seem to recall either.
Continue ReadingThe missus wanted a green …
The missus wanted a green jumper for Christmas. So I bought her a frog.
Continue ReadingI saw a headline today th …
I saw a headline today that said “Teenage Binge Drinkers are drinking themselves infertile.” GOOD. We didn’t want them in the gene pool anyway.
Continue ReadingEver since I’ve started w …
Ever since I’ve started working at the resistor factory my colleagues have really helped me feel at ohm.
Continue ReadingIf you walk under a ladde …
If you walk under a ladder, you’re bound to get married.
Continue ReadingMy wife keeps complaining …
My wife keeps complaining that I’m far too dominant. I’m going to have to get on top of that.
Continue Reading“Never judge someone unti …
“Never judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.” Unless their shoes are Crocs.
Continue ReadingMany thanks to the guy wh …
Many thanks to the guy who gave me the large plastic sheet last night. Ta Paul Lynn.
Continue ReadingI’ve just finished cleani …
I’ve just finished cleaning out my daughters budgerigar because she didn’t want to do it. Well, times are hard and we can’t afford chicken.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she’s leavin …
My wife said she’s leaving me because I never make any sense, and thats why I dont like cricket.
Continue ReadingDo I know the molecular f …
Do I know the molecular formula of nitrogen monoxide? NO
Continue ReadingI’ve just brought my baby …
I’ve just brought my baby son some trainer socks… He’s not ready for normal socks just yet.
Continue ReadingI was always told that if …
I was always told that if you ignore something it won’t go away. I was also told there is always exceptions to the rule. Isn’t that right Kate, Gerry?
Continue ReadingMy Down Syndrome son is g …
My Down Syndrome son is going out trick or treating tomorrow. But he won’t be dressing up. Well I guess. ‘If you have it, flaunt it’
Continue ReadingI’m not really bothered a …
I’m not really bothered about the hose pipe ban. I was going to start jet washing my lawn from 30 meters away this summer anyway.
Continue Reading