The look on the wife’s face each time she stood on the bathroom scale was heartbreaking. So I’ve bought her another one. Now she can stand on both of them at the same time and see her weight reduced by half.
Continue ReadingSchools have changed since my day. From blackboard to whiteboard. From quill to biro. From cane to dumbell.
Continue ReadingBoy1 : Do you know there is still life beyond Internet Boy2 : Really..???!!… Give me the link..
Continue ReadingThere is a re-make of a film coming out Christmas. It is about a fight between a Nun and a Virgin. It is called “Clash Of The Tightuns”.
Continue ReadingI worry about my 90 year old Nan. If she’s alone in the house, and falls over… …Does she make a sound?
Continue ReadingMy history teacher asked me who the Great Train Robbers are. He wasn’t happy when I replied “National Rail – 3 pound 50 for a cheese sandwich”
Continue ReadingIt’s nice in the sun. But it’s even nicer in the daughter
Continue ReadingIan Huntley has cheated death after having his throat cut by another inmate. That must have been a close shave then?
Continue Reading“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Mimes must be the most hateful people on earth then.
Continue ReadingPut 7.50 in a pot and get a stranger to do the same. Then offer them the pot for 10 and leave with them thinking you’ve both made a 2.50 profit.
Continue ReadingIs it just me, or does Andrew Lloyd Webber resemble a spitting image of Cat in the Hat..
Continue ReadingI like referring to my wife as an inanimate object. I think nothing of it.
Continue ReadingMy mate was telling me last night how his wife was killed by Basque Separatists. I said, “ETA?” He said, “No, they blew her up.”
Continue ReadingI’ve just drawn an unusually terrible self-portrait. That’s not like me.
Continue ReadingMy Dad has a tendency to over elaborate the facts. Ever since he single handedly repelled the enemy forces during world war two.
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