If winning isn’t everythi …
If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
Continue ReadingI brought a rocking chair …
I brought a rocking chair yesterday… It plays guitar and everything.
Continue Readingx. It’s a sign of the tim …
x. It’s a sign of the times.
Continue ReadingI Don’t know what I hate …
I Don’t know what I hate more ; Foreigners or Racial Tension.
Continue ReadingI bought a frozen pizza f …
I bought a frozen pizza from Asda the other day and it said on the box, “Cook for between 20 and 22 minutes.” Now, I’m not a genius, but isn’t that 21 minutes?
Continue ReadingHow do you enter an egypt …
How do you enter an egyptian pyramid? You toot and come in!
Continue ReadingHow do you confuse a scie …
How do you confuse a scientist? With the element of surprise.
Continue ReadingMy mate said that when he …
My mate said that when he ran a marathon he “hit the wall” after 20 miles. I’m not surprised. Fancy taking a free kick after running all that way.
Continue ReadingThe irony of when a gritt …
The irony of when a gritter skids out of control.
Continue ReadingIve just invested my life …
Ive just invested my life savings into The Mount Everest Grill House which opens next week. The steaks have never been higher.
Continue ReadingI burst my friend’s eyeba …
I burst my friend’s eyeball to check if any fluid would come out. He couldn’t see the Humour.
Continue ReadingIt’s my birthday today an …
It’s my birthday today and as I sat with my dad I said, ” So then. About nine months and forty three years ago you were giving mum one eh!” He said, ” Aye, and if I knew it would be the only time in forty three years I would’ve enjoyed it a bit more.” […]
Continue ReadingI was getting sick of see …
I was getting sick of seeing my wife with her new iphone, so I bought an ipad, but I was still sick of seeing her with her brand new iphone, so I bought another ipad, it worked, two ipads, I couldnt see a thing!
Continue ReadingI’ve developed a theory a …
I’ve developed a theory about words that end in ‘ism’. I’ve called it ismism.
Continue ReadingI suck the end really slo …
I suck the end really slow and watch the white begin to flow. I can’t resist licking the rim before I thrust my tongue right in. Cadbury’s Cream Egg; How do you eat yours?
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