Finefettler posted the joke, “What does the man who places fudge into packaging at Cadburys tell his friends he does for a living?” How do you think i feel when i have to tell girls I’m chatting up that I plant shrubs on a downwards gradient starting from the bottom working my way towards the […]
Continue ReadingI just bought a new suit and went into the bedroom to see what the wife thought of it She said ” its very nice…. Give us a twirl” I said ” Why are you always thinking about chocolate you fat cow, we’ve just had our dinner!”
Continue ReadingAhh, the morning: Where you pretend not to hate all your co-workers for a few hours before you eventually give in.
Continue ReadingA milk jug says to a sugar bowl “Hey, shall we see which one of us can hold the most coffee?” And the sugar bowl says “No way mate, that’s a mug’s game”.
Continue ReadingHow many blonde jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories
Continue ReadingI don’t know how I managed to get my face stuck in the toilet seat. I just can’t get my head around it.
Continue ReadingI think if Microsoft changed there search engine to Bang, a lot more people would start using it. “I just banged Cheryl Cole.”
Continue ReadingI’ve become an expert of types of paper. I could write a book on them.
Continue ReadingDo you ever find that when looking after toddler, you have the same conversations as when looking after your drunk friend after a night out? 1. Whats wrong dude, why are you crying? 2. What is he saying? I dunno, what are you saying? 3. Are you hungry? Do you think he wants to eat? […]
Continue ReadingIf my wife falls down in the kitchen, and no one is around to hear it… Does that mean I get away with it?
Continue ReadingIf there’s one thing I definitely get from exams it’s a new pen.
Continue ReadingI was in KFC today and ordered a five piece chicken box. “Any sides?” asked the server. I said “Yeah, four would be good.”
Continue ReadingI’ve been thinking of opening a school for disadvantaged kids. All I gotta do is master the art of disguising myself as the Queen.
Continue ReadingI wonder why “24/7” shops have locks on their doors.
Continue ReadingChildren in America are so bad at Geography that they only know where a Country is in the World when they get Attacked by them.
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