Do people with circular b …
Do people with circular beds always get out of bed in the morning in a good mood?
Continue ReadingBefore my big job intervi …
Before my big job interview,I asked my mate in H.R If he had any tips. “First impressions count,so make it a good one” he said. After the interview,he rang me to see how I went on. “It could have gone better,I dont think I will get it though” I sighed. “What makes you say that?” […]
Continue ReadingI just can’t stand having …
I just can’t stand having a cast on my leg.
Continue ReadingI was talking man to man …
I was talking man to man with my 18 year old son when I said, “You’ll have kids of your own one day.” He replied, “So will you, dad.”
Continue ReadingPeople say I’m a bad pare …
People say I’m a bad parent because I named my daughter ‘Flour’. It’s ok though, she’s self raising.
Continue ReadingSickipedia: raising the g …
Sickipedia: raising the grammatical standard of English, whilst simultaneously lowering the tone.
Continue ReadingMust say, these postal st …
Must say, these postal strikes are working in my favour. The amount of “cash for gold” evenlopes that ive picked up from the depo this week has been well worth popping in to collect.
Continue ReadingI really hope the saying …
I really hope the saying ”history repeats itself” is true. I totally want a dinosaur.
Continue ReadingI just saw a group on Fac …
I just saw a group on Facebook called “HOW TO MAKE YOUR GAG REFLEX GO AWAY – AMAZING!!!” This applies to all my future targets.
Continue ReadingSimba was walking too slo …
Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Continue ReadingI have recently broke up …
I have recently broke up with the wife. It gets hard when I think of the kids.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a cowboy …
What do you call a cowboy with no money? Skint Eastwood
Continue Readingstatement an thats an und …
statement an thats an understatement
Continue ReadingI went camping for the fi …
I went camping for the first time today and my mate asked me to build a camp fire. So before lighting it, I painted all the firewood pink and arranged it to look like a limp wrist.
Continue ReadingGot my fastest serve toda …
Got my fastest serve today recorded at 135MPH. My job as a waiter didn’t last long.
Continue Reading