Probably the only time a …
Probably the only time a Scouser is happy to see Bale denied!
Continue ReadingI just read the awful new …
I just read the awful news that a child is critically ill in hospital after being mauled by two dogs in West Yorkshire. The two women from Leeds are currently being held in police kennels.
Continue ReadingMy wife has decided that …
My wife has decided that we need to stop experimenting in bed after things nearly got a bit messy last night. She reckons my chemistry set could’ve spilled all over the sheets.
Continue ReadingGot offered a position by …
Got offered a position by the job centre today but had to turn it down. I don’t have any hairdressing experience & they were looking for a temp to perm.
Continue ReadingI just found out that my …
I just found out that my uncle who lives in Australia has died. It’s ok though, we weren’t close.
Continue ReadingJust taken my Arabic A le …
Just taken my Arabic A level. I got an *A.
Continue ReadingAn atheist explorer in th …
An atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon Forest suddenly finds himself surrounded by a group of blood thirsty cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, “Oh God, I’m screwed this time!” Suddenly there is a ray of light from Heaven and a voice booms out, “No, you are not screwed. All you […]
Continue ReadingI walked past the kitchen …
I walked past the kitchen where my wife was sitting at the table with a big box of chocolates; singing her heart out. I walked in and said “You know, I think you’re going to be really big some day soon.” She said “Oh, thank you so much, I really appreciate it that you have […]
Continue ReadingMy boss accused me of not …
My boss accused me of not forwarding an email her way. I resent that.
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS: Man charged wit …
BBC NEWS: Man charged with Hong Kong murder. I can only express my disgust, phooey!
Continue ReadingBBC Sport: Murray to defy …
BBC Sport: Murray to defy injury in semi bid. After hours of furious rubbing, he finally got it halfway up.
Continue ReadingWhat’s worse than finding …
What’s worse than finding white stains inside the front of your son’s underwear? Finding them on the back.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call 50 rabbi …
What do you call 50 rabbits in a row walking backwards? A receding hare line.
Continue ReadingIt might be the wine talk …
It might be the wine talking… But more likely it’s Dave, the guy I have locked down in my wine cellar.
Continue ReadingLooks like England are st …
Looks like England are still the reigning champions when it come to the weather forecast.
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