I went for a job intervie …
I went for a job interview as a scuba diving instructor yesterday. The guy interviewing me said, “This is not a good start, you look ridiculous.”
Continue ReadingBe nice to your kids. You …
Be nice to your kids. You never know, you might need a kidney one day.
Continue ReadingI walked into a library e …
I walked into a library earlier and asked for a book on interrogation… The librarian replies, ‘Yes, but why would you want that?’
Continue ReadingI was going to join the d …
I was going to join the debating team today, but I got talked out of it.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend thinks its …
My girlfriend thinks its wrong to laugh at the jokes on here, she often says it wouldn’t be funny if it happened to you. But, as I’m neither a 5 year old girl, dead baby or Jade Goody I find this pretty unlikely.
Continue ReadingI had to phone in sick at …
I had to phone in sick at work today. The guy sat next to me at the call centre puked all over my chair.
Continue ReadingBoomerangs. Sticks for pe …
Boomerangs. Sticks for people who can’t afford a dog.
Continue ReadingI walked into the newsage …
I walked into the newsagents with a giraffe this morning. “You can’t bring that thing in here!” screamed the cashier. “The sign on the door says no dogs.”
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend makes me so …
My girlfriend makes me solve esoteric maths problems whenever I am with her. It’s quite a complicated relationship.
Continue ReadingMy wife is so fat she eat …
My wife is so fat she eats her dinner with a knife and forklift truck
Continue ReadingWhen I was a kid my mum u …
When I was a kid my mum used to puke in my mouth and make me eat it. Then again I am a penguin.
Continue ReadingMsn news: “Toyota recalls …
Msn news: “Toyota recalls 412,000 cars for steering issues” When they said “Your Toyota is My Toyota” they really weren’t kidding
Continue ReadingMy tripod is missing a le …
My tripod is missing a leg. I can’t stand it.
Continue ReadingThere’s been some strange …
There’s been some strange news about charged particles recently. Im gonna keep my ion it.
Continue ReadingMy fat wife has recently …
My fat wife has recently started a new exercise routine. She’s doing 20 Crunchies a day.
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