Sir Alex Ferguson is furi …
Sir Alex Ferguson is furious with Ashley cole after seeing pictures of horror tackle Wouldn’t be the first time pictures of his tackle have got him in trouble
Continue ReadingI’ve just found out that …
I’ve just found out that I am never going to be able to be a mother. Apparently it is one of the side effects of being a Man.
Continue ReadingBeing a rapist is very mu …
Being a rapist is very much like going fishing. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or grunge that may have built up while not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any […]
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between a plastic surgeon and an OFSTED inspector? One tucks features…
Continue ReadingPastor: “Do you know wher …
Pastor: “Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?” Little Johnny: “Sure, back of the church yard.”
Continue ReadingMy wife insisted that she …
My wife insisted that she wasn’t scared of being chased by chinese midgets. It only took a little pursue-asian to prove her wrong.
Continue ReadingThe other night I was in …
The other night I was in the club, minding my own business, when several ladies started walking my way. It felt good for a minute to have all the attention. The bouncers seemed jealous, because after a minute they came and dragged me out of the ladies bathroom.
Continue ReadingI asked my son what he wo …
I asked my son what he would like for his birthday. “I’d like two salamander.” he replied. That’s my boy, he’s not even ten yet and he’s trying to pimp his sister out.
Continue ReadingMy mate Dave lives in a c …
My mate Dave lives in a castle with a round table and some chivalrous knights. He’s a bit of a legend.
Continue ReadingIt’s not easy finding som …
It’s not easy finding someone to cover me at work. I’m a lazy bed tester.
Continue ReadingI’ve created a recipe for …
I’ve created a recipe for ‘herb bread’ which makes a 9″ baguette. I call it Dill dough.
Continue ReadingAinsley Harriott has repo …
Ainsley Harriott has reportedly given up cooking. Apparently the pots were being very racist about the kettle.
Continue ReadingTwo psychologists are in …
Two psychologists are in bed, one says, “Well, it was great for you, but what was it like for me?”
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Sainsbury’s Prawns and Lidl Prawns? One has a shelf life, the other has a half life.
Continue ReadingI wrote a joke about a fa …
I wrote a joke about a fat guy and posted it on the internet. It got ripped in four weeks.
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