My friend asked me, “Why …
My friend asked me, “Why is there a book in your fridge?” I said, “It’s chilling.”
Continue ReadingComing up next,Freaky Bir …
Coming up next,Freaky Bird. Double bill.
Continue ReadingWhy should you never give …
Why should you never give a gingerbread man to your child? Because he will crumb in its mouth.
Continue ReadingFacebook – Bringing paedo …
Facebook – Bringing paedophiles the Names, Ages and Locations, of all the children in their neighbourhood.
Continue ReadingJust watched “Big Meets B …
Just watched “Big Meets Bigger” it was on 4+1
Continue ReadingLast night, I Watched Dav …
Last night, I Watched David Tennant crying, as he walked among the malaria patients. It really made me think. Is there no end to this man’s acting talents?
Continue ReadingBBC News: “Prison vote wa …
BBC News: “Prison vote warning for May polls.” I really don’t think a harmless bit of morris dancing will do these hard-nut serial killers any harm.
Continue ReadingWhat did Bruce Lee get fo …
What did Bruce Lee get for Christmas? ATOY!
Continue ReadingAs a doctor you see some …
As a doctor you see some weird things. A man came into my office today with an erection that had lasted 3 days so far. Apparently giving him a puzzled look and saying “but what goes up must come down” wasn’t what he was looking for.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been offered a …
I’ve just been offered a free sky diving experience. I’m not falling for it.
Continue ReadingI’ve met this girl but sh …
I’ve met this girl but she won’t get with me because of my obsession with Blondie…. I’ll get her one way or another
Continue ReadingMy mouth connects at both …
My mouth connects at both ends. Smiles all round.
Continue ReadingI can’t stop reading a bo …
I can’t stop reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Continue ReadingI’m a successful prop des …
I’m a successful prop designer. My work could be holding up your washing line.
Continue ReadingIn Florida, they use alli …
In Florida, they use alligators to make belts. “It’s amazing what you can get alligators to do.”
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