Things are often describe …
Things are often described as being the “size of Wales” Cardiff women, for example.
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I’m thinking of joining the Lonely Hearts Club. Who’s with me?
Continue ReadingI see Stacey Solomon is t …
I see Stacey Solomon is the new face of the Iceland adverts, How long have they been selling Hay and Apples?
Continue ReadingWhat kind of doctor fixes …
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? URLologist.
Continue ReadingMy 3 year old daughter fe …
My 3 year old daughter fell off her bike yesterday and she was rushed to hospital with severe head injuries. She’s stabilized now.
Continue ReadingI love that Sickipedia ha …
I love that Sickipedia have finally released a joke book! Now I can add published writer to my CV All I have to do now is avoid applying for jobs were the boss is either disabled or part of any ethnic minority
Continue ReadingOn the ITV news just now, …
On the ITV news just now, there was a segment where a CCTV video was shown of an old woman stroking a cat and putting it in a wheelie bin, and walking off, where the cat was trapped for 15 hours. I can guarantee you, if they didn’t find that CCTV, they would have put […]
Continue ReadingHow tragic would it be if …
How tragic would it be if a vampire got AIDS off of one of it’s victims?
Continue ReadingRecently I’ve started dri …
Recently I’ve started drinking petrol only on a regular basis to see if I can make it in the record books. I’m a man on emission.
Continue ReadingGot a job measuring Cadbu …
Got a job measuring Cadbury’s hot chocolate powder. It’s only temporary. I’m weighing up the Options.
Continue ReadingA chemistry professor wal …
A chemistry professor walks into a bar and orders concentrated sodium hydroxide. The barman replies, “Why the strong base?”
Continue ReadingCalling it “Little Chef” …
Calling it “Little Chef” is false advertising, isn’t it? I think “Mong with a Microwave” would be more fitting.
Continue ReadingI arrived on the scene of …
I arrived on the scene of a crash earlier and didn’t want to get involved, you know, just stood back and tried not to get in the way. For no reason, people started shouting and screaming at me! I thought “Screw this for a barrel of monkeys,” got back in the ambulance and found my […]
Continue ReadingYou should have seen the …
You should have seen the smug look I gave my co-workers this morning, as I strolled into my 82nd floor office with a parachute strapped to my back
Continue ReadingI left my wife because sh …
I left my wife because she complained that I do stuff without thinking it through.
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