Category: work

I’m watching a programme about customs at Sydney airport. The officer is expressing concerns that some black guy is going to try and find work when he enters the country. Ha ha – you gotta love that Aussie sense of humour.

I wasn’t ill when I called in sick to work today. But after 5 hours of Jeremy Kyle and Antiques Roadshow, I was starting to feel genuinely ill.

New guy started at work today, stupid idiot asked “How long is my lunch hour?”

Did you hear the one about the narcoleptic shepherd?

Job vacancy: Mind-reader. The correct applicant will know what we’re looking for.

I love my new ride, I pick up all sorts of hot chicks everyday. I guess that’s one of the perks of being a bus driver.

My mate said he’d love to work in a shipyard. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to […]

I arrived on the scene of a crash earlier and didn’t want to get involved, you know, just stood back and tried not to get in the way. For no reason, people started shouting and screaming at me! I thought “Screw this for a barrel of monkeys,” got back in the ambulance and found my […]

My parents once said that I’d never amount to anything because I had a childish imagination and unrealistic prospects. I can’t wait to tell them I’ve proved them wrong and that I’m the newest member of the Power Rangers.

British Airways staff are being asked to work for a month without pay. Have you seen those air stewardesses? Max Factor will go bankrupt. You thought that air stewardess hated you before? You can kiss that cushion goodbye. You’d be as well taking a pot noodle on flights. At least for that month the only […]

After changing my interview technique, I’m confident this morning’s meeting will result in a job. I lied about everything.

Got my fastest serve today recorded at 135MPH. My job as a waiter didn’t last long.

Ahh, the morning: Where you pretend not to hate all your co-workers for a few hours before you eventually give in.

just started my new job as a vision clarity technician. well, i say that, i am more of a window cleaner..