Category: work

There’s a fine line between genius and genfinelineius.

The Royal Mail are axing 1700 jobs……… On the up side, the postal workers are being informed by letter, so they won’t know about it for a couple of months yet.

I got a big cash bonus at work today. My boss dropped his wallet.

Always give 100% at work……. 12% on Monday 23% on Tuesday 40% on Wednesday 20% on Thursday 5% on Fridays

Gynecology-Turn your hobby in to a job

Work: an alternate reality where the ordinary laws of evolution are suspended, and survival of the fittest means that professional weasels can become the dominant species.

Two Irish guys are chatting up a girl in London. She asks So what do you boys do then? Turf cutter says the first. Pilot says the second. The girl remarks Thats a strange combination for two friends isnt it? Not at all says the second guy, He cuts the turf and I pile it

My mate’s part of the Olympic Fencing team. He did the bit round the beach volleyball court.

I had to quit my new job because of illness and fatigue. The boss was sick and tired of me.

You know a change of career may be long overdue when you see your face on a wanted poster for the ‘Is it in yet ?’ rapist

I wanted to join a medieval troupe but didn’t have any qualifications. I had to go to knight school…….

I hate being a Window cleaner I always feel like I’m on the outside looking in…

I find it very easy to strike a perfect balance between my social life and my professional life. I’m unemployed and I have no friends.

Mathematics higher tier paper 1. Question 1: If a builder works 40 hours a week at 11.50 an hour, what’s the probability he will be replaced by a Polish man?

It’s no fun being a tightrope walker. My jobs always on the line.