Category: work

The wife blames my obsession with Frank Sinatra as the reason for our drapery business going into receivership. And so I face the final curtain …

I can’t stand station announcers. They’re attention seekers.

Why do car salesmen sleep standing up? Because they lie all day and don’t want to bring work home with them.

My last interview ended with an offer…. To call Security if I didn’t leave immediately.

A boss gets back to the office from his lunch and precedes to tell everyone a few ‘great’ jokes he heard whiles out. Everyone is roaring in laughter as he tells his ‘great’ jokes except one man, who just sits there barely moving a muscle on his face. “What’s the matter with you?” the boss […]

I came to a store and said: “You’re gonna give me a condom” Cashier: “Couldn’t you say that on a polite way?” So I went out and put my underwear down came back and said: “Could you give me a working suit for the gentleman, please?”

I was watching David Cameron’s moving speech about how we need to cut spending and benefits to help prevent fraud and increase the work rate of the country, and how this would lead to a decrease in the effects of the recession, and it really made me think about how small his face is.

during a random drugs test i got asked “have you consumed alcohol in the past 24 hours?” as i look back on it now i realise “what day is it?” probably wasn’t the best answer

I almost ruined my first job interview by laughing at the man’s wheelchair. But I managed to keep my composure and went on to hire him.

My boss believes in an open door policy. Too bad its the door to the toilet.

I work in an office and my boss asked me to access some details on another site, but it said I needed to be registered. So I phoned him up and said “I need to get a log on.” “I’m touching myself”, he replied Wow, Monday morning is going to be awkward.

My last job was in a potato merchants…… They gave me the sack.

I had just started my new job and asked for an advance to tide me and my wife and two kids over till pay day, My boss gave me a tenner, I couldn’t wait for my first paycheck. On Friday I collected my wages I got 3.50, I said “wtf is this?” My boss says […]

My new job as a lifts salesman is going well but it does have its ups and downs

My lecturer handed me my test results and said, “You may want to study something else. You’re always only 50% right. There must be another job more suited to you.” “What course would I need to take to become a weatherman?”