Category: work

When asked about my ultimate goal at a job interview – I was told Tony Yeboah ’95 wasn’t a suitable answer

My father was a traffic cop and always lived life to the limit… Never over the limit, always to the limit.

Yesterday i told my mate i work in the secret service. Today i got fired.

My job really sucks. I work in a hoover development factory.

They say that to enjoy your work you should make your hobby your job. I don’t agree, my hobby is pot holing, but I hate being Jordan’s gynecologist.

Just lost my job as a maintenance engineer for JCB. My manager said I was completely incompetent and struggled to maintain anything since the day I started. Apparently maintaining an erection for eight hours on ‘bring your kids to work’ day doesn’t count.

I cancelled my job interview with first great western without telling them… They were so impressed they hired me straight away!

Do you hate your job? Well, theres a support group for that. Its called everybody, and they meet every evening in a pub.

I threw in the towel at my last job. Which is why I’m no longer a lifeguard.

I’ve found a way to make the day go a little faster in my job as a telephone operative. When I answer the phone I say “Did you do it? Is she dead?!”

I was watching that programme last night ‘Confessions of a Traffic Warden’ When the potential dangers a job include; ‘Adverse Weather’ and ‘Drive-By Shootings’ in the same list, at what point do you think, maybe this job isn’t for me?

I keep seeing these signs reading, “Make money at home in your spare time.” I thought, “What a great idea!” It turns out that’s illegal, and it’s called counterfeiting.

As I got in from work last night, the wife said: “Everything alright love, did you have a good day?” “I think I’ve made a mistake” I replied, “I was really rude with my boss earlier.” “Oh no, what did you call him?” she asked. “Nothing” I said, “I rimmed him in the stationary cupboard.”

I got fired from my gardening job today for killing unwanted vegetation didn’t help that I was inside a nursing home at the time.

I’m out driving my Limousine tonight, and I have no idea what time I’ll be finished. My clients tonight are a rowdy, drunken hen party. Looks like I’m out until the cows come home.