Category: work

I was accused of stealing and fired from my job at the mirror shop today. “Don’t worry” I said, “I’ll see myself out.”

My boss fired me from my job at Big O Tires. Apparently I’m not good at handling the pressure.

Got this ”Child labour awareness” wristband. Best to keep them busy.

GUTTED! After being employed by the education board to help reduce the number of under age pregnancies, I have just been fired. Apparently advising the kids at the primary school that the best way is to “get there before the hair” is inappropriate!

I work in recruitment and I’m always amazed at how many people list “Reading” as one of their hobbies on their CV. I’ve been there a couple of times and it’s a dump.

Never work with your girlfriend! I met mine at work. I mean, at first there’s the bonuses like getting to stare at her hot body all day and sneaking off for a quickie in the toilets. But then there are the downsides – She always asks me stupid questions, tries to show me off to […]

Sometimes i wonder what my grandfather would think of my profession these days, he worked in a kebab business. He was burried with his equipment. He’s probably turning in his grave.

At a recent job interview: What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths? Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what’s real from what’s not. And your strengths? I’m Batman.

I recently got a job as Werewolf. It’s only part time.

A boss gave a mini skirt to his secretary as her 1st month’s salary. In 2nd month he was impressed by her work and raised the 1st months salary.

Ever go into a shop and forget what you’ve gone in there for? I think that’s probably why I got sacked from Tesco’s.

My boss accused me of never fighting my own battles. Wait till my wife hears about this.

A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. “Suppose a woman comes in and orders 20 pounds worth of material. You wrap it up and you give it to her. She pays you with a 20 pound note, but as she goes out the door you realize she’s […]

I’ve developed a simple and guaranteed way of getting a pay rise. I call it, “Doing less work”.

Tip for the day; When your boss says, “I’m not paying you to sit around posting jokes on the Internet all day!”, the correct response is not, “From the looks of it, yes you are.”