Category: work

Can you go chav-hunting for your D of E? It’s a community service, right?

I was sat on the school bus when I noticed Kelsey Jones the hottest girl in year 10. I sat next to her and started to work my magic but to my surprise the driver kicked me off saying I was sick, Apparently catchin the schoolbus to work is not allowed.

Yesterday, I got sent home from my first day at work on a building site for not wearing a mask whilst I was using an angle grinder Today I got sent home for looking like Ronald Reagan. I wish they would make their minds up.

Was at the Job Centre waiting to sign on, waited for over an hour. How can DSS treat people like this?? Wasting valuable time. Some of us have a job to go to

Today I saw a sign that said ‘Hand Car Wash’. I thought I’d give it a try because the last guys who used their feet were pretty useless.

I was at work the other day when I realised I’d forgotten something, so I told my boss calmly; ‘Sorry but I’m going to have to leave early, I’ve got to pick the kids up from school…before their parents get there.’

Slacking off at work before computers would have been so difficult. You’d have had to painstakingly lay all the solitaire cards out on your desk and everyone would have known you weren’t working.

I once had a dangerous mission driving a tank across Africa. 25 tropical fish in 50 litres of water could have fed a village for a month.

I got the afternoon off work today. My time management course was cancelled at the last minute because our tutor was double booked.

A bloke at work said to me earlier “You haven’t done a days work in your life”, When I sit and think of it, He is so right, Since leaving school 20 years ago I have only ever worked the night shift.

Exam results day today, people crying and others dropping out. Me? I couldn’t be happier, my results spelt F U D G E.

Do shop fitters find their work counter productive?

Don’t you think that Pole Dancers will make scaffolding more interesting? plus then the workers will turn up on time.

Sorry Kate and Gerry but you wont find Maddie on Jamrags.com. —————————————————————– But you will find her in the factory making the t-shirts.

I never ever talked to my dad, He was a bus driver and your not allowed to