Category: wordplay

I was in a car with a friend in Germany when he took an odd road. “Hey,” I said, “this isn’t the way home.” “Vee need sausage!” he claimed. I guess he took a turn for the wurst.

It was ten years to this day my son Lancelot died in a horrible riding accident. I’ll never forget that knight.

Last night I got absolutely trollied…. By this I mean, some stranger inserted a pound into my mouth and loaded his goods inside me.

My wife gets sick of me saying useless palindromes all the time…. I said, “No, Mel Gibson is a casinos big lemon….”

My Italian friend just told me he’s built a frame of metal bars to hold wood when it’s burning in his fireplace. I said , “How is it?” He said, “It’s a grate.”

I bought a pirate DVD the other day. I’ll treasure it forever.

Time flies when you throw clocks.

I turned up at a local ghost fancy dress with a cop outfit. I got bood.

A man approached me in street & asked for an anagram of garnets. I thought ‘strange’.

After dropping my toddler at his nursery, there’s a good chance he’s developed some brain damage.

We’re going to have to buy a new lawn mower. The old one just doesn’t cut it.

I really hate making card houses. I just cant stand them.

Can’t wait for the big draw tonight. Rolf Harris Vs Tony Hart.

I smoked this drug called Medusa. It got me stoned.

Why is etymology called etymology?