Category: wordplay

Why do Anarchists want to live in dirty communes with no electricity? Because all power corrupts.

I’ve recently got a new pet, but I don’t think it likes my heavy metal music. Either that or I’ve got a def leppard.

Hear about the emo that went into voluntary liquidation? Stuck his hand in a blender.

I never put pressure on my children to win awards or accolades. I always point out to them that’s it’s the taking part that counts. I’m not sure Brit, Oscar and Emmy quite feel that way though.

”Muslims wearing Carlsberg T-shirt’s” If Carslberg did irony, it would be the best irony in the world’

Which way do you turn the key to open a genuine Queen Anne dresser? Antique-lock wise.

I spent 10 on magic mushrooms and got duped with a bag of poison toadstools. It’s funghi ’cause it’s true.

Sky News : “Brrr-itain Braced For Another Big Freeze” So if Britain becomes frosty, does that make it Grrr-eat?

I saw a Teletubby on a scooter shouting out, “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream”. I think it may have been Edgar Allan Po.

I love going to the Boulangerie but I always leave with a Pain!

I was learning how to walk the other day. I got step – by – step instructions.

I went in HMV earlier and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records. “Walk this way,” he replied.

Started going to the gym on holiday, Did 10 reps.

You can hear a pin drop in my house sometimes. I had a bowling alley installed in the kitchen.

Sent a message in a bottle the other day. The reception was terrible.