Category: wordplay

You can find everything to know about DJs on wiki-wiki-wikipedia.

I need to stop drink-driving. I accidentally Smacked another golfer in the face with my club today.

American humor It just doesn’t include u

My wife has just lost a stone, It’ll be a great loss to her rock collection.

I just saw snakes on a plane. And here I was thinking it only happens in movies.

What’s my opinion on airconditioning? Not a fan.

When a bloke rings my mate it plays ‘Raining Men,’ when a woman rings it plays ‘Three Times a Lady’.. Got himself a new BiPhone..

I had to go to the Doctors recently, ‘I’m afraid it doesn’t look good’ He said, ‘You’re going to have to have a foot off’ I’m not too bothered though, I’ll be able to wear my kilt without getting arrested again.

Mark Knopfler asked if I could look after his hens while he was away on tour. He even said he’d pay me. I just popped round every day and threw them a handful of corn. It was money for nothing and I got some chicks for free.

Stephen Hawking has found a new love and she is just like him. I can see the connection.

I have been fully converted from an atheist to a muslim, I have even changed my appearance too. Just the other night someone said to me: “You da bomb!”.

Tidied up the house and put my Christmas decs away today. No DJ’ing for me until December.

I have an altar-ego. We’re exactly the same, except he hangs around at the front of churches.

I went into a stationary shop to buy some paper clips but they gave me metal ones.

My brother has constructed a huge sign of his signature to hang on the front of his house. People for miles around have come to see it. He’s made quite a name for himself.