Category: wordplay

Sky News: Toxic Mushroom blamed for 400 China deaths I didn’t know that band were touring the far east?

I know a blind man that does observational comedy… It’s dark humour.

January is such a long month. So I’ve started using the abbreviation “Jan” instead..

Sky News: Jimmy Nail In Hospital With Lung Cancer. Oh well, may as well stick another nail in the coffin.

I think that I’ve got athletes foot. My feet don’t smell bad, they’ve gone black.

My son claims he is over his childish obsession with prehistoric creatures and says he is concentrating on schoolwork I dont believe him though – Ive just seen him reading a book called the saurus

I like my women how I like my guns; Silenced and spitting out my load.

My wife just ran into the house. I can’t believe she didn’t see it.

I asked this Jamaican guy if he’d like to tell me what his favourite country in the Middle East is. “Yemen,” he replied.

Last night I had a bar fight with a cowboy. It ended in a draw.

Just spent two grand on an ice cream van. It melted in 15 minutes.

As soon as the wife put her foot through the door I knew it. I should’ve gone with solid oak.

Saw a man this morning wheel spinning in the snow not really getting anywhere. He was furious. Shouting, swearing, going absolutely mental. He needs to get a grip, I thought to myself.

I’m part of a project trying to make rugby a more difficult sport. We’re really raising the bar.

Once again, like last year, the wife’s said she’s getting all my christmas presents from the charity shop. That’s nothing new.