Category: wordplay

I once set up a charity match of my football team against a team of Big Issue sellers. We won, but then we did have the home advantage.

Sky News: Hole found in Manchester United changing rooms at Wembley Stadium Seems like their glory days are over

I decided to ruin to my ex’s wedding by revealing that she used to be a man. My plan went off without a hitch.

My captors just made a joke about a burlap sack, but it went right over my head.

MSN News: “Storm due in flood-hit Australia”. You would have thought she’d of arrived earlier and stopped the weather causing havoc before so many people died…

My mate asked me if I wanted to pop along to erectile dysfunction club earlier. I wasn’t up for it.

My friend had to have her leg amputated the other day, she was stumped.

I was in hospital with a depressed skull fracture. I wasn’t very happy about it.

My family recently shunned my idea of a refrigerated blanket. I must say, I’m quite disappointed. I thought it was a cool idea.

I agree it was silly idea to stand on top of a crane to protest at the treatment of the animals at our local zoo. There were other less endangered species I could have stood on.

My mate was admitted to Newcastle hospital and he got the big C. Now it just spells Newastle.

There are gypsies camped on the island near my house It’s amusing, in a round-about kind of way.

I hate it when people say “Think about it”. What’s there to think about it’s just a two letter word.

In school, my teacher asked me if I had any of my own maths equipment. I said “I have a broken abacus”. She said “That doesn’t count”.

Teacher.”No Tony we cant play say your name backwards” Tony,”y not”.