Category: wordplay

Blind drawing, I can’t see myself doing it.

I ex celled myself when I broke out of prison.

In the long run, fat people always lose.

I just lost my mood ring. I’m not sure how to feel about it.

Where do South African rugby players keep their Slinkys? The Spring Box.

I wonder what the Cambridge University Netball Team shorten their name to.

My mate designs golf gear and I design tennis equipment. He says his job is harder than mine but it’s hardly racquet science.

If you believe binoculars are overrated then look no further.

My missus asked me to take her out for a slap up meal. So I drove her to the chippy and whacked her in the face with cod and chips.

I was talking to some police officers about some youths throwing milk bottles at me. ‘Skimmed just over your head? ‘I repied ‘No, full fat just over my shoulder’

I’ve just been to present my pitch to the Dragons’ Den. But apparently the tent has already been invented.

Why do women spend so much time at the sperm bank? They spend hours trying to find the right bag.

My mate was fired from his job as dog catcher because he kept bringing in dogs with tags. Turned out he was collarblind.

When i was on holiday i thought about getting my mate a souvenir made of a blue adhesive material. But i decided against it as i thought it was a bit tacky.

Nothing says I love you like a human speech box.