Category: wordplay

So,I see McDonald’s new slogan is “We do Happy!” But I find Grumpy or Sleepy generally more doable…

I was cooking earlier with a ‘family size’ jar of pasta sauce. Must have been a small family.

My girlfriend has been taking a lot of smack recently. And a fair old bit of kick and punch.

My dentist asked me if I knew the medical benefits of straightness and whiteness. Apparently, it is not “an immunity to AIDS.”

North Korea ‘fires more missiles’ : What a tragedy that the recession is even affecting the employment of missiles.

My wife’s mum died last week, in her chair whilst doing a crossword. Ever since it happened, I’ve been sneaking in puns about how she died to our conversations, and its been really winding my wife up. Earlier today, we went to visit her mum’s grave for the first time. She said, “Right, whilst we’re […]

I complained to the council that the street I live on has no name. They said they’ll address it at the next board meeting.

You always come to that point in maths where u think, this can’t be right im doing parallel lines.

My maths teacher won’t tell me what another word for ‘average’ is. Which is mean.

There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland. I mean, even the flag itself is a big plus.

Sky news – ‘US Toddler ages seven times faster than normal people’ Ironically, her mum is a right dog.

I always fart at funerals. . . Sorry but sometimes you just have to let one R.I.P.

Did you hear? The voice actor that plays Ben10 has a tumour. Thankfully it’s Ben9.

What’s hairy and blessed? Brian.

It’s all that woman’s fault I fell into the waste water system. Maybe I should sewer.