Category: wordplay

They’re calling the leader of the bid in Qatar: Qatar hero

After getting thrush my Doctor told me to use yoghurt. It really worked. My dad’s still picking Crunch Corner out of his teeth though.

What did the indifferent Lone Ranger say to his horse? “Hey-ho Silver”

Just did an interview with a soldier who had lost both his arms in Afghanistan… “So, how did you feel after it had happened?” Probably not the best opener…

My dad was killed working in a betting shop when it collapsed and he was pinned against the wall by boxes of betting slips.The fire brigade tried to help but the odds were stacked against him

He dribbles down the wing and then he’s straight into the box, its a real scramble, there are legs and thighs everywhere! He tries a cheeky chip and its soo good! Another win for Kentucky F.C.

Daily Mail: “Teenage hairdresser dies in explosion after cigarette ignites hair bleach left in her car”. Probably the highlight of her week.

I was taking a short cut across a field the other day, I was halfway across when the farmer approached me and said, “Did you leave that small wooden step at the edge of my field?” I replied, “No, it wasn’t me, that’s not my stile”

I went to see the doctor the other day. As expected, he was still there.

I was feeling quite happy when i was rolling a joint earlier. I’m always easily amused at the butchers.

I don’t have any idea how to fix this hole in my jumper Darn it

It was very dark times when I had insomnia.

My daughter went to university to study ballet. She didn’t do very well though – she got a tutu.

I’m like God when it comes to similes.

At school, my friend pushed the teacher into a cryogenic chamber. He was suspended.