Category: wordplay

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover? A rash of good luck.

Nick Griffin has bought a goose. A real one that he takes to the gym. I think it’s just a proper gander exercise for the BNP.

This morning I saw 2 little boys wearing turbans, I asked them “are you Sikhs?” The bigger one said “No, he’s Sikhs and I’m eight.”

As I sat watching my daughter whipping her hair back and forth at the school disco, I suddenly realised that she suffers from epilepsy.

How do you make a trampoline? Put his Special Brew just out of reach.

Went to see a medium last night, left me feeling average.

My mates say that I’m always too soft on my girlfriend. I said, “Of course I am, would you be able to get it up with something like that?”

This evening I walked out of my cottage door, dusk was just falling and there was still a gentle and pleasing warmth from the day. Sweet pea and lavender scent filled the air, with deeper notes counterpointing from the bougainvillea and honeysuckle. The sun, low and blood red against the horizon threatened to boil the […]

I learnt yesterday where the word peninsular originated, ‘insular’ Latin for Island, ‘Pen’ meaning not quite, ‘peninsular’ literally meaning not quite an island. ‘Pen Friend’ Not quite a friend.

I bought a smart car today. It has an IQ of 190.

When my sister said she was dating Ahmed I feared the worst. As luck would have it I misheard her and she is actually dating a deformed guy with an arm sticking out of his head.

Playing Scrabble in hospital is a good way to pick up MRSA.

Today, I thought of a different word for ‘every’. That is all.

“Seasonings greetings from the India Salt & Pepper society.”

I will never forget my childhood summers, when we would climb into old tires and roll down the hills. They were goodyears.