Category: wordplay

I just watched “Mutilating Film Crew: The Director’s Cut”.

All the threes… 33. One and six… Sweet 16. Unlucky for some… 9/11.

My dad built me a television out of wood, It works ok but the picture is a bit grainy.

I went on a fishing trip last weekend. I caught a huge multicoloured fire-breathing whale.

A friend of mine earned a lot of money a few years back from his singing career, but recently he fell on hard times and ended up bankrupt. Subsequently, he ended up throwing himself off a cruise ship. He’s washed up now.

BBC News: Man held after fatal dog attack. “Well, I suspect he was in pieces?”

They got the weather forecast right yesterday. They said there was a patchy rain band coming. I looked out of the window and there were 4 red indians singing in my garden.

I recieved a letter from someone accusing me of racial prejudice and asking for hush money. That’ll be a black male attempt.

Two streaks of diarrhoea walk into a bar. The barman looks up and asks “Why the long faeces?”

I walked past a barber’s today who only serves sheep and thought,”That’s shear madness.”

My wife’s a bit like the national lottery. Everyone has a chance, for a pound.

Just saw this great comedian who spent all night making jokes about this amazing silk suit he was wearing. I just don’t know where he gets his material from.

I wrote a book about noise. You’ve probably heard about it.

‘coming to a cinema near you’ how do they know where i live?!

I walked three mile to play a joke on someone today… Maybe I do take jokes too far.