Category: wordplay

Have you hear the one about the broken parachute? It never goes down to well

I stopped to observed the two minute silence today in memory of my grandfather who was once awarded the King’s Cross. O, how I miss playing Monopoly with the old codger.

What did the electron say to the proton? You’ve pulled…

I just used up my last plastic drink sucker. It made me so angry, I just lost control. It was the final straw.

Two owls are sitting in a tree. The first one announces “I’m getting married!” To which the second replies “You twit, to who?!”

I was flying over scotIand and was confused with where my hand luggage should go, Luckily for me a friendly libyan helped me and put it in locker B

The man who took Ryan Air to court after losing his luggage has lost his case.

My plan to claim unemployment benefit is not working.

Some other rock climber fell to his death today right after he waved at me. Guess you can say he went out on a hi.

I tried to gatecrash the Kwik Fit Employee of the Year awards ceremony but the doorman wouldn’t let me in. He said, “You need to change attire”

I finally gave up wearing my smoking jacket. mainly because of the patches on the elbows.

Thank Christ it’s Easter.

As natural disasters go, that tsunami was a bit of a washout

My mate and I used to always argue about which tense a sentence was in. I used to favour the present tense, but that’s in the past.

I was telling my mate about a guy who came to me with an idea to improve a county in southern England He said “Endorse it” I said “No, In Devon”