Category: wordplay

With the recent spout of evil dictators across the world being overthrown and brutally executed, I can’t help but think it’s Saddam shame for their families

Tea is for mugs.

Left alone at the nursery, I was pretty quick off the mark, and on to Jack, then Mikey.

Today, for my Dad’s birthday, I got up early and crept downstairs to the kitchen silently so I’d be able to surprise him with a full English breakfast in bed. But then my brother had to go and spill the beans…

Being a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

It was my birthday last night and all drinks were on the house. I stayed sober because i’m scared of heights.

Last night my mate complained he was addicted to weight training. I told him to stay strong.

I often attend eavesdrop anonymous. Not that they know.

If anyone tells you that they stand up while masterbating, chances are they’re actually lying.

While on holiday in Thailand I played a game of table tennis with a local girl . She beat me but there was definitely something fishy about her serving technique

Big noses run in my family.

I went to the music store the other day and asked “can I see your kettle drum?” The guy replied “No, but would you like to see my toaster play the nose flute?”

What’s a necrophile’s favourite band? Coldplay.

My wife always cooks our Christmas Ham in a bottle of wine. I have no idea how she gets it in there, but it tastes brilliant.

With the new year just starting, it has got me thinking about change and how it can be a good thing… especially when you don’t want to break into that 20