Category: wordplay

My favourite one liner is the circle

Me & my brother couldn’t tell which of us is the most productive artist. We’ve decided to draw lots.

Do you like my Eczema flakes? I made them from scratch

Two-thirds of The Human Centipede is tongue-in-cheek.

My girlfriend has left me because of my ‘unacceptable on-line behaviour’ All I did was forget to put the washing out to dry

My jokes have got a lot in common with Chile miners. They all seem to get buried.

Really excited about moving into a detached house. I’ve already got a semi.

Pilots lead a turbulent lifestyle.

RAM error on my PC? Must be goats in the machine.

Soiling myself is a risk I’m willing to take whilst I’m gardening.

They believe Michael Jackson’s death was due to heredity issues. The doctors say the cause may have been his Billy gene.

I went to see my Grandmother in the hospice today. I keep telling her to move out of the stables and back in the house, but she just won’t listen to me.

I’ve opened a shop selling sledges. Sales are going downhill lately.

Just got sacked from my job at the rich tea factory. They said I took the biscuit

Just heard a Jewish woman in Australia has been made a saint. St Ruth!