Category: wordplay

Did you hear what happened to our headmaster at deaf school? Neither did I.

My mate William is looking for a house share but hasn’t really had any luck. All the ones he’s seen so far say ‘No Bills’.

BBC NEWS: Police to give bikes to ex-offenders. Won’t this just make the cycle of crime worse?

I’d just like to say that I think wife-beaters are disgusting. Why can’t you put a shirt or something over it, smarten up a bit?

My mate has finally convinced me to go to Ju-Jitsu with him. He twisted my arm.

Sky News: “New Lead In Case Of Limbless Body” Someone has come forward to give the police a much needed hand to get ahead and solve the case. Small chance of finding the killer though. Probably legged it. I tell you what though, I’m stumped.

When my laptop starts playing up and is running slow, I know it’s because its been running for hours and is over heated.. So being a loving and caring owner of my laptop, I open another Window.

I don’t believe in cryogenic freezing as a punishment. It will only produce more hardened criminals.

Lifts get me down sometimes.

I got stopped by some young guy yesterday in the street and he said “what is you?” I replied, “A vowel”.

I was watching the wire last night. It was more entertaining than what was on the telly connected to it.

I used to go out with an Olympic hurdler. But she got over me.

I converted my Nail bed into a door earlier. I tell you what, you can’t knock it.

My wife says she is sick to death of me taking advantage of her. Ive consequently told her to find someone else to play tennis with.

My friend said he was going to create an invisibility cloak. I don’t see it working though