Category: wordplay

So there i was on the pavement on my knees,begging the wife for forgiveness… Which was ironic,because it was curb crawling that had got me into trouble in the first place.

Arrears, dues, debt, it’s all greek to me.

BBC News: Gran punched and kicked for 30. Who?

Al-Qaeda are desperate to recruit new members. Sounds like it’s a matter of insurgency.

Apparently, the House of Commons only has one speaker… You’d have thought in this day and age they’d at least have Dolby Surround Sound!

Don’t forget to tune in next week for our Alzheimer’s special.

I suppose I am a sore loser. I lost trying to fend off a rapist.

I had to undergo an emergency marrow transplant yesterday. It was too late though, my vegetable soup was ruined.

BBC News: Are Britons or Germans the rudest? Neither. I knew a Dutch bloke who was very Ruud indeed.

Laughing gas….. I thought something smelt funny

I don’t half feel sorry for my mate Atlas. Every time I see him he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I live by the writings of the wise philosopher Heinze. It gives you a higher sense of bean.

Top Tip The apex of a rubbish dump.

My girlfriend recently died, she was addicted to translucent paper. RIP Tracy.

My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water….I think he meant well.