Category: wordplay

I believe that a person who fancies both men and women should be treated exactly the same as anyone else… Bi rights.

The scarecrow was very effective. Now we have starlings.

Disneyland! Jobs available. Positions available in the “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” tourist shop due to short staff.

I had a dream last night that our local Market had shrunk. I woke up and thought, “That’s a little Bazaar.”

I did my first stand-up gig last night. Normally I sit down.

My mate has just asked me for advice on how to move a boulder. I told him to shove it.

My wife keeps going in the loft. I think she must be coming down with something…..

“When I grow up I want to be a tree.” said my adopted Chinese daughter. “Don’t be a sap Ling” I replied.

My wife just caught me throwing snails at our son. I’m now in trouble for child molluscation.

New film release about a girl who goes topless in the back yard. It’s called ‘Flash Garden’

When I found out that all the fish at my holiday home in Florida were being eaten by a heron, I got the phone number of a local hunter and organised for him to kill it. Just before I hung up the phone I said to him, “I’m a bit worried that I can’t track […]

I sank ten pints of lovely Rocky Mountain Beer, and when I stumbled in, my wife said, “Have you been drinking? Your breath stinks!” I smiled, and replied, “Yes, of Coors.”

I like Huey better than Dewey or Louie. He’s just the more colourful character.

Who exactly are ‘Mates’ condoms aimed at?

Two of my favourite words are ‘innuendos’ & ‘euphamisms’. I like to get my mouth round big ones.