Category: wordplay

The local farmer has made it easier for people to get in and out his fields. I like his stile.

“I just climbed to the top of the world’s highest mountain,” I told my mate. “Everest?” he asked. “About every hundred feet,” I said.

My 12 year old son and I were arguing about the vertebral column today… I told him never to talk back to me!

I just walked past my bookcase and heard it say “Whoa! I can hold stuff!” It was a moment of shelf awareness.

Spent the weekend going through all my old computers in the loft. So many memories.

I caused an uproar at the zoo today. I was filling lions with helium.

Working at an airconditioning company is like being a rock star. You know how to turn on the fans.

I was taking a risk opening a butchers shop on Blackpool tower. The steaks were high.

We know CCTV will lead to the downfall of civilised society. Orwell that ends well.

Just finished reading a book about podiatry. The footnotes were excellent.

Nada, zilch, zero, nil. These words mean nothing to me.

Something came into my head the other day. I do love a bit of oral.

Barack Obama held an official Whitehouse reception in honour David Beckham’s team winning the mls cup. The president asked him: “Where’s the trophy?” Becks replied: “She’s at home looking after the kids.”

I got arrested for hitting my wife with a golf club today. I just wanted to putt her in her place.

Apparently Stephen Hawking is to run a marathon. Is he off his trolley?