Category: wordplay

I’ve got a friend who’s a female private investigator. Or gynaecologist, as he likes to be called.

I have some earth shattering tales about epileptic elephants.

My mate asked me if I could name a three letter word starting with A and ending with Y? I was stumped, I don’t know why I couldn’t think of any.

I’m not one for cross eyed people. I’m two.

My mates had a good laugh at my expense last night. I paid for them to go and see a comedian.

If Phileas Fogg told me he would be going round the world in 80 days in a hot air balloon I would have told him he had his head in the clouds.

I can’t bare to leave my job at the local supermarket I think it’s Stockroom Syndrome.

My PC is so slow this morning, I swear if it had a tongue it would lick the screen.

Border Collies for sale. Come, buy.

Body of Gareth Williams found in MI6 murder case. Murder case? That’s a bit of an extravagant term for a sports bag.

I’ve two friends called William Hill. What are the odds?

In hindsight, I shouldn’t have picked “DJ Orange” as my stage name. I can’t find anyone to rhyme with me.

I’ve deserted my wife. I threw a pudding in her face.

My Granddad used to put a ball in one of three cups and then move them round. Then I had to guess which one it was in. I said, “Doesn’t that hurt?”

I told my parents I could do better on my exams if they bought me some eels from the aquarium. I ended up getting Morays.