Category: wordplay

How does a politician sleep? First he lies on one side then he lies on the other.

I’ve taken up archery and make my own arrows but they never stick in anything I fire them at. Am I missing the point?

I was just chatting with my aunt on my mother’s side. They’re conjoined twins.

Dying cats pink, what’s next? A Navy Seal?

I’ve just been sniffing glue with all the local tramps. We’re out of our boxes!

I had a dream about riding on a large female horse that was covered in armour. I think it was a knight mare.

Daily Mirror: Baggy pupil uniform ‘to stop pervs’ I think a West Bromwich Albion football kit is enough put anyone off!

I have started to make a bukkake film with premature ejaculators. It’s coming together quickly.

I’ve just had a dumbell surgically removed from my brain. It’s a real weight off my mind let me tell you.

Left my house this morning, and i thought I could see the ginger girl and short kid from Pokemon even though it was foggy! On closer inspection, it turned out to be just Misty.

My wife came in to the living room screaming that she heard on the radio that the local nuclear power station was over heating and that we were all going to die. I had to tell her to calm down and that it was probably just someone from the power station over reacting.

What’s brown, smelly and falls off walls? Humpty Dump.

What do you call a women who sets fire to her mortgage bills ? Bernadette.

I’ve just finished a 10k race! Bit of a high entrance fee, in retrospect…

Me and my girlfriend have decided to take our relationship to the next level. We’re moving into the flat upstairs.