Category: wordplay

The council had been re-surfacing our road when the spastic kid from next door got his wheelchair stuck in the tarmac. The next thing we knew he was re-tarred.

Just walked past a pub called the Dog Inn. Can’t imagine the shenanigans that go on in their car park…

I’ve just killed my only child and buried him in concrete, and now I’m going to sit and watch the son set with my wife.

I’ve just invented a way to turn the smell of a homeless person into an effective and cheap green fuel. I call it Trampoline.

I got into a fight with an article of clothing today. It was a tie.

I was playing football with a group of anorexics and two of them started arguing about who would go in goal. In the end I had to get between the sticks

I’ve just emptied the wife’s tank of fish, She parked in the river again.

My career as a plumber went down the drain.

What do you call a group of black people trekking around the north pole? The Arctic Monkeys.

Just got a new job as a professional referee. So my mate bought me a whistle as a gift. First day I blew it.

In the circus, I could travel across a tightrope doing a handstand using no hands or feet. I was the head line act.

Pakis. Putting the ”how?” into shower.

My dad was only interested in right wing views… Which is why he lost his job as a football manager.

I’ve just had one of those new sponge front doors fitted. Don’t knock it…..

I have a love/hate relationship with ambiguity.