Category: wordplay

My best friends dad invented the Zorb. He’s rolling in it now……

I benched 150 kilos today! Told this fat guy in church to take a seat.

I’m turning rastafarian, but i’m worried about the stress it will put on my hair… I’m dreading it.

I’ve just opened London’s first Jewish pub called ‘Bar mitzvah’, Trouble is it’s opposite that posh gallery called the Gasworks.

My mate won a huge amount of money playing Yahtzee against local gangsters. He suggested I try but I think its too dicey.

If there are two things I hate they are contradicting myself, and not contradicting myself.

Guns don’t kill people. Raptures do.

I’ve just written a play about someone who drives into a theatre. It’s going to be a box office smash.

BBC News : Nutt faces sack Must have kicked him pretty hard to get them in to that shape

I accidentally smashed my cat’s skull today. It appears my bathroom isn’t as big as i thought it was.

The X Factor contestants are completely ruining Queen songs Roger Taylor probably doesn’t mind, but I think Brian May.

My wife said my driving was like Mark Webber’s. I nearly flipped.

It was when the receptionist said, “You said you wanted a double room, and I’ll be happy to give you one,” that I thought it may have been an unwise choice to stay at The Inn Uendo.

I went to a club full of all different races. Being a racist I was not amused, so apartheid all night.

I love showing my body off to people down the gym. Everyone’s jealous that I eat more than them.