Category: wordplay

What group did Mike Edwards use to play in? Electric Light Orchestraw

I have a Scottish Carp in my pond, It’s the real McKoi.

My mate keeps me up to date with all the latest news from the world of music, and i thought: “With friends like him, who needs NME?”

My dad was drinking this morning and now he’s gone off the rails. He’s a train driver in India.

The wife refuses to do anything when she is on,which I think is very unfair. I never moan when its my turn to be the captor when we play hide and seek.

When I moved into my new house one of my neighbours came round and asked if I wanted to sign up for the Neighbourhood Watch. Obviously I refused, given my wife had only just bought me one for my birthday and I could look at it any time I wanted to.

I had a threesome with a scalene and an isosceles. It was a love triangle.

I came home from work last night to find a copper rooting through my CD rack. Turns out we’d been burgled and he was just looking for Prince.

We were trying to find a way to cross the Nile, when we came across a ford in the river. We had a good laugh at the unlucky driver and continued with our search.

Went to Birmingham at the weekend because my friend said it was good for depression. He was right…. I got it.

I hate people who act irrationally, they should be killed at birth.

I just found out I’m dyslexic, it’s quite saddening. Well, you know, when life gives you melons . . .

My mobile ran out of credit. So I popped into a newsagents. “Top up?” said the busty young miss behind the counter. “Yes please” I stammered, “And when it is, may I suck your nipples?”.

As expected, Doctor Who’s new herb range has been a success. After all, he is a Thyme Lord.

I just bought a new pair of trainers to help me when I start jogging. Hopefully they’ll give me the motivational support and advice I need.