Category: wordplay

I have no idea where my girlfriend is coming from the majority of time. Thats probably why she wants to break up.

The club logo on my beloved football shirt has come off. I’m crestfallen.

Sky News: Emma Bunton Denies Reports Of New Spice Film She said the Thyme wasn’t right.

I just saw a bird playing chess in the park. Toucan play at that game.

I’ve just seen a river that had a wall built across it so that the water cascaded down it. It was weird.

I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.

What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat? A dandy lion.

I stick figs up the fannies of random girls because I can’t get any dates.

I was doing a bit of stand-up in London last night. I also did some sitting down.

I wanted to try something kinky, the wife just want something to eat. So we compromised. We went for Toed in the hole.

I keep texting my wife and instead of texting “LOVE YOU LOTS” I accidentally type “LOVE YOU LOTR.” It’s becoming a hobbit.

I went to the gym today and lined up behind an African American woman. She was having trouble swiping her card, so I thought I’d help her out by telling her ‘black strip down.’ Turns out it’s easier to make a black woman get naked than I thought!

I am going to make a living as a pessimist. Sadly.

I bought a telescope so I could see stars more clearly, but there’s too much in the way to get a proper look. Mostly skirts and knickers.

I’ve just been watching ‘Room 101’ A fit brunette was undressing and I had a great spot in a tree outside the hotel.