Category: wordplay

A musically talented friend of mine has recently died. He was struck by lightning. It’s such a shame… He was a great conductor.

My wife mixed her 2 favourite drinks – wine & gin. It seems to have had a permanent effect as she hasn’t stopped whinging since.

Michael Owen is a clinical finisher. He always ends up in hospital.

A German got into a weird state of mind, got confused then got lost. He didn’t know vertigo.

I don’t use Twitter. It’s too trendy for me.

I bought an adult movie set in a Welsh valley – there are some incredible Cwm shots.

“I love the thmell of napalm in the morning.” – Apocalisp Now.

My wife threw a large Stephen King book at the back of my head. I never saw IT coming.

Apparently when Rowan Atkinson crashed his McClaren F1 he injured his groin on the gear stick. Now he’s got a Blackbladder.

“My wife’s gone to Jordan” “Amman?” “No, she’s just got big hands, but you’re not the first to ask.”

“Black Is Beautiful” well if that’s the case I’ve just shat a masterpiece.

I cried as my Nan called my brother an ambulance today. Her Alzheimer’s is getting worse.

Seen the latest Bollywood Blockbuster? Lethal Injection 2….

I ran over some stupid black guy today. Still not sure why he was lying on my treadmill…

My friends and I were Goths in high school. During lunch we’d sit by ourselves and plot a defense against the invading Hunnic Empire.